Office romance: causes and consequences. Office romance at work Office romance does not approve of the management of the company or firm

Love affair at work- this is a romantic relationship that is tied up between colleagues. Mutual sympathy, which can develop into a serious relationship or a relationship limited only to sexual intimacy, can arise both between colleagues who are on the same rung of the career ladder, and between a boss and a subordinate.

Causes of office romance

The reasons for the emergence of office romances are not much different from the reasons for the emergence of romantic and intimate relationships between a man and a woman that are not related to work within the same organization. The alchemy of love is very multifaceted and individual, depending on many factors. However, workaholism or simply forced to spend a lot of time at the workplace can become a prerequisite for the emergence of an office romance. As a result, potential partners simply have no other options than to start an affair with a colleague who is in close proximity and accessibility.

The Benefits of an Office Romance

Office romances, subjects who decide on them, provide many advantages:

• the opportunity to spend more time together (for example, at lunch, smoke breaks, coffee breaks);
• if you meet with your immediate supervisor, then this can give certain indulgences in work, indulgence for your mistakes and shortcomings, career advancement and pay increases;
• meeting with a work colleague, you have more common topics for conversations related to work moments;
• you will immediately have a common circle of acquaintances, including other members of your work team;
• working in the same organization, you can help each other, replace each other if necessary;
• working at the same site, you get the opportunity to go on joint business trips;
• in the end, your office romance may culminate in the creation of a family and further bonuses in the form of joint travel to and from work, greater mutual understanding about overtime and forced business trips.

Possible negative consequences of an office romance

Despite a number of advantages, office romances are more often perceived with a negative connotation and with a certain apprehension.

Even if your relationship with a colleague develops in the best way, being together both at home and at work, it can be psychologically difficult. The couple can quickly get tired of each other. In addition, being under the scrutiny of your partner's attention during working hours, you automatically lose the right to innocent and sometimes pleasant flirting with other colleagues of the opposite sex.

Unfortunately, not all close relationships with a colleague of the opposite sex have a happy ending, and parting with a fellow lover can sometimes be painful and unpleasant. In this case, the situation is aggravated by the fact that you have to see the object of your suffering every day. Sometimes it is so unpleasant and unbearable that you simply find yourself forced to quit and look for a new job or apply for a transfer to another area where you would have less contact with the object of recent desire that is unpleasant to you.

A former lover-colleague does not always turn out to be a noble person, and after parting, he can throw mud at you in the eyes of your other colleagues. The details of your intimate relationship may become the property of the entire workforce and cause disdain or ridicule in your direction.

Even more difficult if the ex-lover is your immediate supervisor. If your separation does not go entirely smoothly, then you may be subjected to a flurry of nit-picking and comments on your work, which is far from always fair. In retaliation, the boss can demote you, reduce your pay, fill you with fines for the slightest misconduct, and eventually fire you.

Be that as it may, any relationship between two people in love is fraught with an unpleasant break. But this is not a reason not to pay attention to a work colleague you like. Perhaps it is he who will become the man of your whole life, fill it with meaning and make you the happiest woman in the world. And for the sake of this, it is worth taking the risk of having an office romance.

Popular feature films about office romances

• Office Romance (USSR);
• "Secretary" (USA);
• "Business Girl" (USA);
• Bridget Johnson's Diary (USA);
• "The Fifth Power" (USA);
• "Proposal" (USA);
• "Indecent Proposal" (USA) and others.

Links

• Romance with the boss: take a chance?! , women's magazine myJane.ru
• Office romance, women's social network myjulia.ru

An office romance without consequences or the consequences of an office romance! 81% of personnel officers believe that office romances are dangerous for companies. They serve as an additional source of conflict. And 74% believe that employees should be held accountable for romantic hobbies within the office. At the same time, employers understand that love affairs cannot be avoided in companies. One can only try to minimize their negative effects. The company inevitably suffers losses if lovers work side by side. The management of many companies compromises, and is much more tolerant of office romances if the lovers work in different departments.

Office romance without consequences. Consequences of an office romance.

Many believe that in such cases people do not interfere with each other to do business, and the company does not care about their personal relationships. However, squabbles and the inability to focus on work are far from the worst consequences of an office romance. The case takes a much more serious turn when it comes to industrial espionage. For example, a beautiful and young secretary comes to the company, seduces the boss, learns from him all the secrets of the company, and then quits and takes confidential information to a competitor. The situation is trivial, but quite common. Women speak in a different way. They do not clearly separate work and home and are ready to be with their loved ones everywhere. Moreover, many ladies have nothing against office romances and marriages with colleagues precisely because they see their betrothed all day long, they know everything about his affairs and relationships with people around him. Unfortunately, this is what often gives rise to unnecessary jealousy and conflicts from scratch.

Office romance, Office romance without consequences, Consequences of office romance, office romance stories, office romance development options

Psychologists believe that there is no cure for office romances. You can, of course, separate lovers into different departments, you can reduce work requirements and prepare for unpleasant conflicts in the team. But in reality nothing can be changed. Office romances are indestructible and will still exist, because such is human nature. However, career experts say that there is still a way out. Unnecessary conflicts can be avoided if you behave correctly at work and do not allow emotions to overcome the mind. An office romance cannot be kept a secret, especially if the relationship in a couple has become serious. As soon as colleagues suspect that you are dating someone in the office, it is better to go and be honest about your relationship with your boss. Together you will be able to find an acceptable way out. Experts do not advise having affairs with superiors or subordinates. Do not get close to a work colleague right away, even if you have a strong attraction to him. To avoid embarrassing situations, do not meet with colleagues in the department, the expert advises.

And if the relationship does not add up, then it is better not to lead the situation into a dead end and discuss in advance how you will exist in the same job after the break. Love encounters should not take place in the office or in office elevators. At work, don't kiss, hold hands, or call each other affectionate names. Meanwhile, most companies, even in the United States, do not follow the love relationships of their employees at all. Only 12% of workers surveyed by researchers from the American Managers Association said their companies had policies in place regarding office romance. However, an unsuccessful love affair can have consequences, as it is fraught with a sexual harassment lawsuit. To avoid trouble, some employers force employees to sign so-called love agreements.

The article describes tips that will help you understand all the features and subtleties of the novel at work. Rules of conduct are also provided to help you maintain your position on the career ladder.

Features and conditions of the novel at work

First, love feelings should not interfere with work. Coming there, you need to clearly separate personal relationships and professional activities. Relationships should help improve performance and development, not get in the way.

Secondly, you should not start an affair out of boredom, because this can lead to negative consequences. There is no need to play with the feelings of people, especially with those with whom you will still have to be close in the future.

Let's find out how to behave when having an affair at work. There are a few simple recommendations that will help you avoid getting into an awkward situation and attract each other even more:

• . To begin with, it is important to understand that such relationships are significantly different from all others. The thing is that people will spend together almost the whole day. As a result, the likelihood of a situation where the couple simply gets tired of each other increases. Therefore, in your free time, you should diversify your days as much as possible. It is necessary to find common interests and try to pay regular attention to them. At the same time, they should not be from the sphere of business interests of partners.
• Appearance. In order not to annoy your partner, you need to look good even during working hours. As for the girls, don't forget to put on make-up for work, wear beautiful dresses and heels. Remember that men always love with their eyes, and this applies to all representatives of the strong half of humanity, without exception.
• Only work at work! You should not flirt, show feelings during working hours in front of colleagues. This can be annoying and is also likely to anger the boss. Work is not the place where you need to show your emotions and spiritual impulses.

Advantages and disadvantages of an office romance

1. Regular intimacy. One of the main advantages is that people are constantly next to each other. You can always be in sight, but if necessary, disappear. The partner will not become jealous of his loved one, as he will see everything with his own eyes, he will not have the thought of “thinking out” the development of relations with another person at work. Agree that this is how you can avoid a huge number of disagreements and jealousy.
2. Taking care of your appearance. If the adored person is always there, then you can no longer afford to come disheveled, wrinkled, dirty, unkempt, without a haircut, etc. An office romance will be a good incentive to take care of yourself and keep your figure in perfect condition.
3. Incentive to get to work. If a loved one waits there, then the alarm clock that rings in the morning will not be so terrible and nasty. High spirits, the joy of spending time together, a smile on your face have a great effect not only on relationships with people, but also on professional performance.
4. Love. This is an incentive that pushes for growth, including professional growth. A native person nearby pushes for improvement, it is easier to solve problems with him, because a couple is not competitors to each other.

The office romance has a huge number of positive aspects, but also its drawbacks that you need to be aware of:

1. Everyone will know about it. No matter how much the couple wants to hide their relationship, sooner or later colleagues will find out about them, and this will become a common virtue. During this period, it is very important to take the right position and not perceive provocations. The development of relations will take place in front of the authorities and colleagues. It is important that they know as little as possible, because the relationship should be between two people, that is, personal. Otherwise, the life of lovers can become a topic for discussion and even ridicule.
2. Aggression, envy from colleagues. Looking radiant and happy can irritate less successful and happy people. Many have not yet managed to find their soul mate, while others are simply unhappy in marriage, their candy-bouquet period is far behind. Constantly burning eyes of lovers can be infuriating. Therefore, try to show a minimum of loving gestures in the workplace.
3. Cloud-walking, distraction and reduced productivity. The presence of a loved one at work can not only push for progress, but also rapidly slow down activity. This is due to the fact that in a fit of feelings, some can only think about them. It is for this reason that it is very important to distinguish between work and personal relationships, otherwise the wrath of the authorities cannot be avoided.
4. Ugly breakup. Ending an office romance is much more difficult than any other. This is due to the fact that the former lover will always be there. In this case, you need to either separate from everything and forget the past, or change your job. In addition, the gap can be the first topic of discussion among colleagues and superiors.
5. Problems with superiors. In many companies and firms, bosses do not approve of office romances, which can also negatively affect a career. Therefore, it is better to hide the relationship by all means. This will help to avoid dismissal and other troubles.

The main types of romance in the workplace

There are several types of office romance. Each of them has its own characteristics. But in any case, there are important nuances, without which it is impossible to build normal relations.

Romance with a married man

Such a romance has only two options for the outcome: a married man will file for divorce or stay with his lawful wife. As practice shows, most often preference is given to the second option. Ladies who are bored with a monotonous life can choose such a model of relationships without counting on something more. But in this case, it is very difficult to maintain a good relationship after the end of the novel.

As for work colleagues, they are usually divided into two “camps”: some will watch what is happening with interest, the second will condemn, intrigue, try to convey to the authorities and even the wife of their beloved the real state of affairs.

Important! Of course, you can’t command your heart, but you should understand that an affair with a married man will not bring anything good, since the percentage of happy and at the end is negligible. But the reputation will be solidly damaged.

Romance with a colleague

When an affair began with a work colleague, you should not rush things, everything has its time. Try to get to know the person better, his preferences, hobbies, what he does after work and how he lives. This makes it much easier to avoid unwanted disagreements in the future.

When working in the same room, it is extremely important to restrain your love impulse. Leave it for home decor. The variant of the relationship with a colleague is the most convenient, because in this case the conditions are equal.

If the relationship is already serious enough, and the couple decided to tell the team about them, then this must be done as discreetly as possible. It is not necessary to devote everyone to the details, it is enough just to say about the fact itself. Many may ask why do this. Everything is very simple: if you report the relationship in time, you can avoid a lot of rumors and discussions behind your back.

An affair with a work colleague happens most often. If this is not a relationship yet, but a casual intimate relationship, it is better to never tell anyone about it. After all, it is unlikely to contribute to the transition from a light hobby to a serious format of communication.

With boss

All achievements will be perceived as merit in bed, not personal. Romance at work with the boss causes the most attention from colleagues and employees. Many believe that people do this solely for selfish purposes in order to climb the career ladder.

The main disadvantage of relations with the boss is the almost complete absence of a future perspective. Of course, everyone wants to marry the boss, but not all of the fair sex reach this line. Much more often, a girl becomes just another mistress for a while. For many men, this format of relationships is very convenient for sex. It’s good if a lady can interest a man and take the relationship beyond the office. In this case, there is a chance to really win his heart.

If the affair happened to a female boss, then it will be extremely difficult for a man to maintain his image. After all, a priori the boss is right, he can command and order. But not everyone is to their liking. And if a compromise is quickly found in everyday life, then at work the status will oblige the lady of the heart to behave in such a way as not to distinguish her partner from the rest of her colleagues.

Rules of conduct for an office romance

So, let's look at them in more detail:

• Do not forget about work duty and professionalism. Learn to properly prioritize and put a line between your feelings. Remember, personal issues should never interfere with a work relationship. Personal disputes should remain at home and only between two people; other issues must be resolved within the office space. Also, you should never sort things out in front of colleagues.
• Consider the feelings of other employees. Very often, colleagues work on a particular project in small groups. So, some participants will help to feel uncomfortable next to the couple. Take into account the opinions of other people, because this will affect the overall result.
• Don't single out your loved one. This is especially true if one of the couple occupies a more leading position. It is very difficult not to single out your chosen one among other employees, because feelings take precedence, but this must be done so as not to disturb the harmony in the team. Try to maintain common sense and distance, which will help to avoid many troubles.
• Keep personal experiences, memories and intimate details to yourself. Do not discuss any problems in relations with colleagues. Most likely, after that there will be reconciliation and the establishment of relationships between partners, and stories about intimate moments and experiences will remain for general discussion.

Workplace Romance Options

1. Marriage. An ideal option for the development of relationships, in which long-term and harmonious love develops into a family. But it happens infrequently, because the cons of an office romance can interfere with a happy relationship. If the heart suggests that this person is a soul mate, then it is better to change the place of work for one of the couple. In this case, the likelihood of developing a happy relationship is much greater.
2. Intimate connection. There are people who do not strive for long-term communication, they just need an additional incentive to go to work. As a rule, such an office romance initially does not continue, but carries an exclusively sexual connotation. It is often resorted to by partners who are married, but are tired of the routine of family relationships.
3. Breakup with serious consequences. Since personal life is on public display, and the former, once beloved person is always there, when parting, one of the partners may need to change jobs. Only a few get along well with each other after a breakup, and questions from colleagues, sidelong glances and whispering will only add fuel to the fire.

Important! Remember that parting with the person who works with you in the same room has a number of difficulties. First, you need to learn how to find a common language even after a quarrel. Secondly, the former lover will be in sight all the time, and in some cases this interferes with the development of new relationships.

Can people live together after an office romance? This is practically impossible. In principle, the relationship between a man and a woman at work usually has an unfortunate outcome.

In practice, the winner is the one who is a supporter of the opinion - you need to work at work, and there are no personal relationships. If any feelings and emotions appear at work, then the main activity is relegated to the background, as a result of this, the working pace is destroyed, and then the relationship itself.

The most common are two types of office romances: either these are mutual feelings with all the consequences, or this is a certain developed strategy aimed at getting a promotion, or to obtain important information, that is, a romance for selfish motives.

The first type is when people are brought together by mutual feelings. Every day they meet at the workplace, they are constantly waiting for the next working day to see the object of sympathy. The further, the more. Relationships begin to move beyond working hours. The lovers start dating after work. Up to a certain point, relations are gaining momentum, but then sooner or later they begin to fade.

Naturally, lovers get bored with each other. And if one of them is married, or married, they will gradually get tired of each other, since they are connected not only by feelings, but also by official functions. Most often, job functions cause negative associations. In addition, colleagues begin to gossip, no matter how the office romance is hidden, all the same, everything secret becomes clear.

Serious relationships are no exception. In such cases, one of the lovers, in order to save their union, must quit their job. Otherwise, the outcome is predictable. Office romances are taken more seriously by single women who do not have other opportunities to get acquainted, since their main environment is the people with whom they work.

The second type is a romance for selfish motives. The most common is the romance between the manager and the secretary. Such novels are mostly short-lived. The benefit of a secretary is often an increase in salary, some attention. The leader enjoys the charms of the secretary until he gets tired of her. Someday, anyway, he will find a new secretary, the old one has to be fired. Such relationships do not end with a wedding, only a short-term benefit.

For a woman, this type of office romance ends more painfully than for a man. The lady manages to become attached to her beloved, and more acutely experience a break. Most men are immediately tuned in to temporary relationships, during which a certain interest appears. They perceive the gap more calmly.

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There are a great many stories about office romances. Some of them end well, some end badly. We give as an example only those that we managed to find by asking our friends. All stories have one thing in common - the culmination of events took place after the employees attended a corporate party together.

Story one: Romance with treason

I have been working in the same company for several years, - began his story Annunciator Eugene D. - At work, I am appreciated, although I myself do not like much about it. A little more than six months ago, a new employee Elena came to us, she quickly became friends with everyone. And I was neutral towards her. As before, I did my job and every time I went home, I thought that I would quit tomorrow.

But two months later, something changed in me. I began to look at the new employee differently, I felt sympathy for her. The talk that the work is boring, that the company is bad, that the bosses do not appreciate anyone, has disappeared somewhere. In addition, I noticed that Elena also treats me differently than the rest of the employees. After a while, I began to catch myself thinking that I miss her when I go on a business trip. Every day my love for her grew stronger.

Actually, I have been married for 3 years, but recently the relationship in my family has gone wrong. After some time, there was a corporate party in the office about the holiday. Elena went outside, followed by me. Told her to talk. Somehow it happened that we began to kiss, then she said that she had liked me for a long time. I knew perfectly well what I was doing and what I was going for. We slept. At work, she pretended nothing had happened, and so did I. However, my feelings for her became even stronger after that. I hate myself for all this, because I have a wife. Now I am looking for a new job so as not to see or hear a colleague and generally forget about her.

The second story: "Honey, I'm pregnant!"

This story happened to me a couple of years ago, when I worked as a specialist in one of the large trading companies in the city and was still very naive and trusting, - she told us young townswoman Ekaterina S.- Our team was large, friendly and young, so we met not only at work, but also very often outside of it.

Denis worked with me. He was five years older than me. At first, we did not have close communication, we only said hello. But at some point, he himself came up to get acquainted, offered help in mastering a new computer program, which I didn’t really understand at that time. We got to talking, and during the break we went to lunch together. Thus began our difficult relationship. Over time, I fell in love with Denis. I liked spending free time with him - we met not only at work, but also outside of it. Sometimes it seemed to me that he was in love too, and sometimes not. I saw how he flirted at work and with other employees.

This went on for several months. And then a corporate party took place in our company. When it ended, Denis and I were left alone, and the next morning we woke up in the same bed. After that, they met for another two months. And then I found out I was pregnant. Told him about it. He was beside himself with rage, began to spread dirty gossip about me at work, saying that I was trying to ruin his life. Some employees stopped talking to me. I did not know how to survive it, so I had to quit my job ...

Story three: "Fatal" photo

By the time Sasha came to get a job as an office manager in our company, I had been working in it for several years, - recalls Vera M. - The boss gathered all the employees and announced that a newcomer was joining our team, that he needed to be helped and assisted in every possible way. Many girls at work immediately liked him - tall, blue-eyed, muscular. Well, I recently divorced my husband, I was still worried. In general, at that moment there was no time for some handsome men. Nevertheless, it was I who had to bring this newcomer up to date.

Our relationship developed rapidly: on December 3, Sasha came to work, on the 26th there was a New Year's corporate party, and on January 11 we went to work together! One day, the whole office was whispering about something interesting: photos from the holiday came, and a recommendation was passed from mouth to mouth to see photo No. 275. Finally, my hands reached this photo. And there - Sasha and I are dancing. Close, close to each other, eye to eye, and even in the photo you can see what huge sparks are between us!

We had been dating for two years, I started to wait for an offer, but it still didn’t come. And finally it happened. For the wedding, our boss gave us a gift - an envelope, and in it ... the same photo No. 275.

Despite the usual talk about spouses-colleagues, it seems to me that it is very possible to work and live together. So many topics for conversation! And I am aware of all office affairs! In addition, now at work, my husband protects me from encroachment by other applicants.

Igor Rokhmanenko, psychologist:

- The main problem of an office romance is the mixing of professional duties with personal life. In addition, it is fraught with a surge of emotions, and not always positive ones. Inspired by love, employees can conflict, bring aggression and tension into the business atmosphere. It is worth noting that sometimes this interferes with the unified work of the organization. Of course, there are also such novels that literally illuminate the atmosphere in the office.

We all know and love the film by Eldar Ryazanov "Office Romance", in which the boss, the gray mouse, and the sad single father suddenly changed and found their love right at work. Unfortunately, in reality, romance at work does not always end in weddings. The breakup of a relationship often leads to the fact that one of the former lovers has to quit their job. Unable to bear sidelong glances and gossip behind his back, the second worker leaves after the first.

But it is not all that bad! Love adventures in the office can increase efficiency. And especially romantic natures experience such a surge of inspiration that they manage to do a lot, in addition to what was planned for the day. A peaceful and positive attitude can free you from the working routine - all things become a joy, boring activities cease to irritate. It may also happen that in the end these relationships will result in something more than just an office romance. In general - think for yourself, decide for yourself!

If you cannot otherwise

If, despite all the admonitions, the temptation is too great and you are irresistibly drawn to a colleague, well, follow your heart. However, try to follow these guidelines:

1. Go to this step with your eyes open. Be prepared for all possible consequences. If something unforeseen happens, you may have to move to another department or even lose your job, so have a backup plan just in case.

2. Keep your relationship private. Even if everyone in the office knows that there is something between you, avoid showing signs of attention in public.

3. If the object of your passion is your boss or your subordinate, just don't do it. The best option for developing such a relationship is never to start it.