The article talks about the reasons why adults may have communication problems. Advice is given on what needs to be corrected in oneself so as not to experience a shortage of high-quality communication.
Communication is a necessary part of human life. Otherwise, how to realize oneself and become socially active?!
According to psychologists, problems in communication are experienced, as a rule, by introverts - people whose thoughts are most focused on their inner world. They are more comfortable alone, and communication with friends or colleagues causes great difficulties.
Reasons why people have difficulty communicating
- Unwillingness and inability to listen. This is the most common communication problem. It manifests itself as follows: a person is frankly bored at the time of the conversation, or vice versa, shamelessly interrupting the interlocutor. This behavior is very annoying and perceived by others as disrespectful.
- Lack of self-esteem. Discomfort, slurred speech, insufficient vocabulary become a huge obstacle in communication. Constantly haunted by the fear that everything will be said incorrectly and will not be adequately perceived by the interlocutor.
- categorical. The inability to yield, the unshakable confidence in one's own rightness and the inability to accept someone else's rightness will only alienate the interlocutor. This does not mean that you need to agree with others in everything, just to be “good”, but no one has yet canceled delicacy and good manners.
- Dive into your own problems. If all conversations are translated into the mainstream of your experiences, then it is unlikely that you will be able to keep the thread of the conversation for a long time. Therefore, it is worth choosing topics for communication that will be of interest to everyone.
- The interlocutor is higher or lower in development level. The dialogue will be interesting and relaxed among people whose intelligence level is equal. If the interlocutor is superior in development to another person, then the latter will certainly begin to experience uncertainty, but he will most likely be interested in the opinion of a more competent comrade.
Having identified the reason why communication is difficult for a person, it will be easier to start working on oneself and overcome the communication barrier.
How to make communication with people more effective
The following rules will help with this:
- Get rid of selfishness. You should think about whether it will be pleasant for the rest to communicate with a person who constantly seizes the initiative in a conversation, and the manner of his communication, in this regard, looks quite aggressive. It will be correct if during the conversation you maintain a friendly tone and allow all participants to speak. They will reach out to such a person for advice, they will always want to see him in any company, he will have many friends.
- Be a good listener. Sincere interest and the ability to listen to the interlocutor is a quality that will allow you to become a desirable member of society. It is important for people to feel that they are not alone with their problems, and there are those who will listen to you, understand, and give competent advice.
- Show interest in the subject matter. In a conversation, it is important to find common ground. Unfortunately, the topic proposed by the interlocutor is not always interesting for another person. In this case, you should not show your indifference by all appearances. The effectiveness of such a conversation is zero. You should politely listen to the person and delicately lead him to a topic that will be of mutual interest.
- Refuse negativity towards the interlocutor. Sometimes it seems that only your own opinion is correct, and what others say is absurd. Do not undermine people's trust by proving them right and ridiculing their theories. It should be remembered that any opinion has the right to exist.
A respectful attitude brings people together and makes communication comfortable and enjoyable.
Why are some of us not particularly social? After all, we all need to communicate sometimes. And for some people, this is an uncomfortable fact of life. Let's discuss ten reasons why you tend to avoid communication, and how to fix it (if possible).
1. You are depressed/worried
If you fall into this category, don't worry. You are not alone. Depression and anxiety is a sore subject for millions of people around the world. The anxiety that accompanies depression creates a feeling of chronic tension and anxiety. It is treatable, although full recovery may take some time. Even in this case, find yourself an interlocutor so as not to keep everything in yourself.
2. You are overwhelmed by your own personal problems.
We've all heard the saying, "Don't judge a book by its cover." For some reason, many people ignore this wisdom. The truth is that others may not know about your inner state. Perhaps you have your own personal problems that are not conducive to communication. Just get through this time, but don't give up communication altogether.
3. You feel embarrassed
There is no shame in admitting to yourself that you are awkward to communicate, and you feel awkward and uncomfortable. Try visualization and meditation practices. Learning basic mindfulness techniques can help overcome many innate or learned stressors. You have more control over your body and mind than you think!
4. Communication "sucks" the energy out of you.
If communication drains your energy reserves, then you are most likely an introvert. By the way, there is no relationship between introversion and depression. In the first case, it is simply a personality type; in the second, a mental health problem (see point 1). Listen to yourself and understand what you need: if you need solitude, be with yourself, but do not refuse communication and socialization in moderation.
5. You have no communication skills
Social skills are acquired knowledge. For some reason, you may feel unfit to "navigate" the social realm of life - and it's not your fault. With a little practice, you can improve your social skills.
6. You are afraid of being rejected.
The fear of rejection is one of the deepest. We are afraid of criticism and uselessness. Again, meditation and self-awareness will help here: being rejected does not always mean a problem and the end of the world - sometimes this can be the highest good.
7. You are in a new environment
There is nothing to be ashamed of at all. All people first feel uncomfortable in a new environment - just someone less, and someone more. Don't be afraid to say hello to a stranger and then strike up a conversation as simple as possible. If you act friendly, then there is a high probability that you will be reciprocated.
8. You are shy
And this brings us back to the question of introversion. The introvert brain prefers the acetylcholine pathway, while extroverts choose the dopamine pathway. In other words, extroverts need external energy stimulation, and you need internal energy. Just continue to interact with people a little, without exhausting yourself with crowded events and noisy parties.
9. You don't like empty talk about anything.
Yes, you would like to chat on philosophical and psychological topics, and you are asked questions about whether you have cats and dogs. People are very different, and you need to get used to it. Think about how it is much easier for someone to talk about pets than about the frailty of existence.
10. You just don't want to communicate.
It’s quite normal sometimes not to want to communicate at all - and you don’t need to feel pangs of conscience or cherish your alleged inferiority complex at the same time. You need to worry when you do not want to communicate and talk at all. Get out of your comfort zone at least once in a while, just go out and greet those around you.
I experience difficulties in communication, I want to get rid of shyness, shyness, I want to live a full life ...
In general, let's just say, there are two essences living in me, I'm sober (let's call her Andryusha) and I'm drunk (not drunk), let's call her Andrey. I’ll make a reservation right away, this is not schizophrenia, it’s easier to express it that way ...)))
Andryusha is a modest, little sociable, chained by a number of complexes, an insecure boy. It is quite easy for him to communicate with his best friends, but it is difficult for him to communicate in a team where there are a lot of new people, to joke ... No, he is excellent at talking with strangers when you need help, suggest something, have a short conversation with a taxi driver about the weather, fools on the road and politics ... But with new people, for example, on a birthday, wedding, contact is usually difficult, except for those people who are also closed or seem weaker, uglier, more insecure, etc. Before meeting a new person, especially a new girl, he thinks through the conversation, thinks about what he will say first, what he will say in this or that situation, with what words he will fill the awkward silence, pause, which he is very afraid and embarrassed. He is afraid of being known as a silent man, afraid of the phrases “tell me something interesting”, they completely drive him into a stupor ... The phrase “Andryusha, why are you so silent, why are you silent” also affects him, as if after this phrase I should immediately become the soul of the company and talking a lot, which is also strange; afraid that it will turn out wrong, strange or stupid ...
Andrey behaves in a completely different way, even when the party is just starting and the first glass of beer is drunk, he becomes quite talkative and bold, it seems that even his brain starts to work better, he turns on associative thinking, he remembers many stories from the deepest childhood to the present time, Andryusha does not succeed. He is much more confident in himself, he is assertive and interesting, BUT he does not bully, does not climb on the rampage, does not start quarrels and fights, he is simply more sociable and self-confident, he is more interesting, charismatic, funnier. He meets new people and actively communicates with them, and often even completely sober and everyone is interested! It is much easier for him with the ladies, they feel this confidence, assertiveness, sometimes the much-needed arrogance, they are interested, they find it funny. Then, when they see Andryusha, they don’t understand at all where this “handsome guy” from that party)))
And I very often hear that I am sober and drunk two different people. Moreover, with a drunk Andrei (not drunk), it is really interesting even for sober or slightly drunk people, they do not shy away from him and often do not even notice traces of alcohol.
Andryusha understands that the problem of this communication is in his head, that he can communicate as well, but he is apparently stopped by uncertainty and fears. Andryusha does not turn to a psychologist in order to rid him of alcohol, he wants to blur the line between Andrey and Andryusha.
At the moment, many people in the process of communication are experiencing various difficulties. During the period of interaction of several people with each other, a communication barrier may arise. Such difficulties in communicating with people are naturally associated with the neuropsychic state of the individual. It is customary to distinguish between two types of communication difficulties: subjective and objective experiences. Subjective ones do not always remain noticed by the interlocutor, while objective ones, on the contrary, appear during personal contact. In addition, there are also primary and secondary communication difficulties. The primary ones are associated primarily with the natural characteristics of a person, and the secondary ones are the result of some kind of trauma or experienced stress. Defective communication can be considered defective, since sincerity, sincerity, trust and ease in interaction between people cannot be established in interpersonal relationships. Difficulties in communication arose for a long time. But you can get rid of them if you follow several principles of interaction with the interlocutor.
Difficulties in communication
At the moment, many people in the process of communication are experiencing various difficulties. During the period of interaction of several people, a communication barrier may arise between them. In addition, there is a possibility of a bilateral or multilateral complication of relations. This is usually associated with such personal qualities of the interlocutor as insincerity in communication, selfishness and sometimes even arrogance. Such difficulties in communicating with people are naturally associated with the neuropsychic state of the individual. There are differences, taking into account the level of stress of a person, the type of situation that has arisen, and other points.
It is customary to distinguish between two types of communication difficulties: subjective and objective experiences. The subjective ones do not always remain noticed by the interlocutor, while the objective ones, on the contrary, appear during personal contact between people and are accompanied by a decrease in the degree of satisfaction from communication. Thus, people not only do not enjoy the dialogue, but, on the contrary, are filled with negative emotions.
The problem of communication with subjective difficulties is characterized by the presence of such human qualities as shyness, embarrassment, insecurity, difficulty to enter into psychological contacts with people. Objective difficulties arise due to the difference in the degree of communicative literacy of the interlocutors. A specialist can eliminate the difficulties of communication. Consultation of a psychologist in Moscow will help to cope with the problems of interaction during communication with the interlocutor.
In addition, there are also primary and secondary communication difficulties. The primary ones are associated primarily with the natural characteristics of a person, and the secondary ones are the result of some kind of trauma or experienced stress. Primary ones are characterized by such human qualities as anxiety, aggressiveness, and many others, which are directly related to the temperament of the individual himself. Secondary communication problems can be formed due to poor previous practice of interacting with people. Consultation of a psychologist in Moscow will help to treat this mental disorder.
Defective communication
This communication is characterized by the presence of certain interference (defects in communication). This relationship can be considered inferior, since there is no sincerity, innocence and ease in interaction between people. This problem of communication contributes to the completion of interpersonal contacts between interlocutors. This disrupts the success of communication and reduces self-satisfaction with them.
Often, the interlocutor can enter into communication by putting on a mask. Behind her, he tries to hide his character flaws (uncertainty, etc.). The emergence of interference in communication can be caused as a result of the formation of a threat to lower one's own dignity and self-esteem.
It is mainly character traits that create communication problems that can lead to conflict situations. The emotional state of a person plays a decisive role in establishing interpersonal relationships with the interlocutor. Many factors can complicate interaction during communication, which are primarily associated with increased emotionality. To improve relations between interlocutors, it is necessary to restructure communication, which is based on interpersonal cooperation with manifestations of effective communication. The ability to listen and hear is very important in communication.
In fact, communication difficulties arose a long time ago. But you can get rid of them if you follow several principles of interaction with the interlocutor. Listening with interest to the interlocutor, responding positively and adequately to his words, not interrupting him and not creating negative emotions in the dialogue will help to establish communication. But if it is not possible to form successful communication on your own, then the help of a professional specialist will help create a favorable environment between the interlocutors. Consultation with a psychologist in Moscow will contribute to the formation of relationships based on effective communication. From such communication, you can get maximum pleasure and be 100 percent satisfied with the conversation, which will increase your mood and fill you with positive emotions from the inside.