Stress is a common human reaction to the unusual circumstances of life. You should never be afraid of stressful situations and you should not make a monster out of stress that devours everyone, endows them with some kind of disease and places them in situations of hopelessness and impasse. It is necessary to realize well: absolutely all people are subject to stress. The main thing is to prevent the transition of stress into distress. Distress is an event in a person's life to which his body, his brain and body are not adapted, and he cannot cope with it. Is it possible to develop anti-stress resistance in oneself? Theoretically - yes. Stress and its consequences are more susceptible to people with specific character traits. These are anxious people, sensitive, that is, they absorb information very easily and pass through their emotions everything that happens around them. Also, these people are wary, frightened and prone to the formation of fears.
A person, knowing that he has such traits, must develop in himself the properties of depreciation - softening the blow of life, which is called stress. The tips here are simple, but they work. First: the daily routine and life in general should be measured, take place in a clear and understandable framework, you need to develop internal discipline. External discipline is the need to go to work at a certain time, go to lunch, finish work and perform certain functions at work and at home. Almost everyone is forced to follow this, but it is very important that a person tune in precisely to internal discipline and establish it himself. For example, to determine a constant time for getting up in the morning, be sure to do some physical exercises, even if they are formal at first and are performed for no more than 5 minutes, you can even simply shake your head and hands back and forth to the music, the main thing is that it becomes a habit. It is not so much the volume of activity that is important here, but the habit itself, that is, the mode. In the same way, lunch is not just eating food, but switching, moving, moving outside of work. You just need to walk, walk, look at the sky, curse about the weather, but the main thing is to do something else. Thus, when you establish such an internal regimen for yourself, it becomes a canvas that prevents any accidents. Yes, this method is not super powerful and will not protect against any stress, but, nevertheless, internal discipline is still a defense mechanism.
Now the second moment. Stress was studied by Hans Selye, who was not a psychologist by profession, but a pathophysiologist and endocrinologist. He clearly established that stress is the instantaneous release of certain hormones that cause spasms, increased blood pressure, increased heart rate, and so on. Thus, the question arises: how to prevent these effects? It is necessary to act in such a way that your life in itself is focused on the elimination of all substances released during stress, without even waiting for the impact of a powerful factor. There is one unique natural method for this - elementary physical activity. I will give an analogy: when an animal is under stress (for example, a predator scared), it does two things - it runs away or rushes at the enemy, that is, it realizes its stress and burns adrenaline.
A person, due to social circumstances, unfortunately, in a stressful situation remains to sit in a chair, he does not even get up and gets a heart attack in a state of relaxation. Therefore, physical activity is a must. Moreover, I do not think that everyone should go in for sports, it is enough to walk 2-3 kilometers a day, it will take from 30 minutes to an hour. The main thing is that a person should feel an increase in the pulse, get moistened from walking, so that his breathing becomes deeper - only in this case the body will really go through all the phases of “burning” stress hormones. If this is done daily, the body will already know the mechanisms of destruction of these substances, if, God forbid, a shock in the form of a war, an earthquake or a fall falls on it - everything that will be called stress.
So, the first thing to do is to establish internal discipline, the second is to engage in physical activity, the third is to make your day measured. Stress, in the first place, knocks down a person's circadian rhythms. The most famous of them are night sleep and daytime activity. You need to accustom yourself to go to bed on time, at the same time, say, at 10-11 pm. This is biologically necessary and important as a cushioning factor that will work later. Since the brain that has gone through all 4 phases of sleep is more prepared for what will bring stress, it processes it better and comes out with more cushioning.
It should also be remembered that a person should receive from life and pleasure. If a person constantly walks gloomy, in a pessimistic mood, he finds some kind of negative in everything that happens, and any event that we will call stress or distress will become a disaster for him. Therefore, you need to improve the quality of your life. It is necessary to fill it with daily joys, small ones. For example, it was gray for many days and finally the sun appeared - everything - there is an element of happiness! I walked through the snow, remembered my childhood, how it creaked under felt boots, remembered something pleasant, smiled - cool! I fed the titmouse: they flew in, you were glad - this is a mutual feedback - cool! I drank hot tea - I'm glad that I drank the tea. It's good if a person has a hobby - go to the theater, meet friends, listen to music. These are already filling elements. It is very important that a person be satisfied in his psychological component, that there be more positive emotions than negative ones, then people endure stress much easier.
There is another factor. It would seem that the stress that falls on a person responsible for others (for example, the father of a family) is more powerful, because the person experiences more. However, at the same time, he stops thinking about himself and endures stress much easier, because he has action, and action is always the enemy of stress itself. That is, you can sit down, freeze and suffer, or you can start running, carrying, taking out, and so on - and thus freeing yourself from personal stress. Therefore, any altruistic actions outside of stress, when you realize your responsibility for homeless animals or hungry titmouse, and even more so for people, are also stress-absorbing factors.
There are even simpler things that should not be forgotten. In chronic somatic patients, stress is always more difficult. Therefore, I recommend limiting alcohol consumption, while leading a healthy lifestyle, practicing hardening, healing techniques, reading psychological books that give simple advice and show that there are and will be troubles in a person’s life, and you should not get hung up on them. You should experience troubles only as they come, and not imagine horrors that have not yet been realized. Indeed, at the moment it does not exist, but today we have happiness, joy, we are alive, we are full, we met. By thinking in this way, we create psychological comfort, which is an anti-stress factor.
Learning to Relieve Stress: Relaxation Techniques 
What to do if stress has already piled up? You have to learn to relieve stress. The first is to eliminate the influence of traumatic information. The second is to restore the sleep pattern, and in any way, including with the help of medications. You also need to practice relaxation techniques. They are simple but very effective.
To unwind after a stressful experience
Select with your eyes any four objects that are at eye level and not
require a head turn. Look at the first object and mentally slowly count: one-two-three-four. At the same time, take a slow breath throughout the count. Then look at the second object, and continue counting: five-six-seven-eight, exhaling slowly. Then look at the third object, continue to count and take a slow breath, then the fourth object and exhale. When choosing objects - fixation points, try to ensure that they provide eye movements not only along a vertical plane, but, as it were, in a circle. During the exercise, make several such circles of breathing - counting, alternately changing the direction of eye movement.
With a headache and a feeling of "congestion, fullness" in the head
Tilt your head slightly forward, put your palms together and cover your mouth with them and
nose, but not very tight, as if you are warming your hands, and breathe into your hands at your usual pace
two or three minutes.
To overcome internal aggression
Sit or lie down comfortably, take a sharp and deep breath and firmly squeeze all the muscles
of your body. Hold the tension for as long as you can, then exhale as slowly as possible, and gradually relax the muscles. Repeat the exercise 8-10 times.
To overcome anxiety
Take a slow deep breath and a slow exhale, repeat 4-5 times. Repeat this exercise 2-3 times a day. The second exercise: taking slow breaths in and out, close your eyes and massage them lightly. The third exercise: while inhaling, tightly clench your fingers into fists, while exhaling, relax them completely, keep your breath calm.
To dive into the "comfort zone"
Find a quiet, private place where you can sit comfortably, close your eyes, and focus on your breathing. Observe only the breath, then imagine a picture of the place where you feel most comfortable (this can be the past, present or even the future). Try to immerse yourself in this environment mentally and with your body as much as possible. Gradually bring the time spent in the "comfort zone" up to 20 minutes. Exercise is best done closer to bed.
By following these simple yet effective techniques, you can relieve severe emotional tension and prevent the development of post-traumatic stress disorder, accompanied by symptoms such as anxiety, depression, insomnia and constant flashbacks.
Depression, apathy, increased nervousness or, conversely, a breakdown are symptoms of nervous overexertion. How to survive stress is described in numerous sources in medicine and psychology.
Causes and types of stress
The causes of overvoltage can be different. The simplest is excessive exercise. They are exacerbated by lack of sleep and eating disorders. This type of stress is called physiological.
The next type is psychological. It is associated with problems in relations with other people, inability to establish contact, conflicts in the team. Such situations can develop not only at work. Many people suffer from the fact that they do not know how to survive stress in the family.
A related concept is emotional stress. Often it goes hand in hand with the psychological. It is associated with the experience of violent emotions. The peculiarity of this type is that it can be caused by both negative and positive experiences. The reaction of the body in this case is expressed in the inability to concentrate, an increased rate of speech, trembling in the hands, sweating. Reactions such as vomiting or loss of consciousness are possible.
Information stress is associated with the fact that a person is not able to make a decision due to the abundance of information or, conversely, due to its absence. This type is often accompanied by increased excitability, headache, craving for nicotine.
The cause of managerial stress is the inability to bear responsibility or too much anxiety about an overwhelming task taken on. This type is typical for people with a hypertrophied sense of duty. Trying to fulfill his obligations, such a person is able to bring himself to nervous exhaustion.
The reasons for this reaction of the body may be different. For some, this is work-related stress. People often suffer from the monotony of the tasks they perform or, conversely, from the need to switch to new tasks too often. This group of causes includes lack of rest and sleep disturbances.
In second place is the unfavorable atmosphere in the team. Especially harmful is the latent conflict, which exists unnoticed by others. In this case, the tension between employees is exacerbated by the need to hide the conflict.
The competitive atmosphere is also facilitated by the conditions of competition, which are often specially created in the workplace at the initiative of management. Rivalry gradually leads to nervous exhaustion.
Another source of overvoltage is the conflicting demands of superiors. Often employees are put in a situation where they have to tell customers one thing and do another.
Personal causes are among the most traumatic. They are associated with the loss of a loved one, troubles in personal life (divorce or separation), illness. In complicated forms, the result of such trauma may be apathy, addiction to alcohol, refusal to eat, suicidal thoughts and suicide attempts.
Stress, like any other reaction, is manageable. People differ in different susceptibility to difficult situations. Some are able to endure hardships because they have good adaptability. Others become hysterical or depressed.
Everyone needs to learn how to survive severe stress, since such a reaction of the body can occur at a time when a person is least prepared for it.
There are many ways to deal with a stressful situation. The approach should be chosen depending on the type of personality and character. Choleric and sanguine people are suitable for active actions. It is especially useful to switch to another type of work or leisure. The main principle is fundamental changes.
Melancholic and phlegmatic people will suit a decrease in the pace of activity. Quiet rest is optimal: fishing, walking, reading, staying in the fresh air. These methods are especially effective if you follow the daily routine and diet. The main principle is peace of thoughts and feelings, the absence of emotional "outbursts".
How to strengthen the nervous system
In a difficult situation, the body needs more energy. However, this only applies to spiritual energy. You should not "jam" experiences with chocolate or pastries. Apathy is accompanied by suppression of appetite only on the first day. Then the appetite returns to normal, and there is a risk of gaining extra pounds.
There is a strong stereotype that nervous overexertion stimulates metabolism due to the release of adrenaline and increased blood circulation. However, it is not. On the contrary, with strong experiences, metabolic processes in the body slow down. Therefore, it is necessary to deal with stress in advance. Methods should be psychological and not related to increasing the calorie content of food.
You should take care of a healthy lifestyle and daily routine, ensure proper sleep and moderate physical activity. It will strengthen the body and transfer physiological stress.
The life of a developing person is arranged in such a way that new peaks and horizons are very often revealed precisely through stress and crisis. Development is always a sinusoid: either you are at its peak, and everything is going in the best way, or it plunges you to the bottom, and it seems to you that you cannot survive this.
The idea that development is such a smooth upward path is very pleasant, but utopian.
A crisis is a necessary process of growth and expansion of a person's mental capacity.
Without it, development, unfortunately, is impossible.
Look at your life: it certainly seemed from time to time that you would never endure some moments, but looking back from the present, you understand that everything is not so scary. This means that your mental capacity has increased, and you can now bear and experience even more.
In this article, we will not talk about how crises are needed and useful, but about that lowest point of the sinusoid, when it seems that you don’t need such a development, that everything is meaningless, the pain covers your eyes with tears, it’s hard to breathe from stress, and fear so paralyzes the body that you want to curl up and not get up, not talk, not move, and sometimes just die.
We all visit this point from time to time - this is an exam and a transition to a new level.
Such a state comes through different triggers: fired from work, parted with a loved one, disappointed in herself, lost hope, humiliated, caught in an injury, or just dead tired of fighting for her happiness and I want to spit and send everything to the devil.
This is such a test from life: how ready we are to go further, how determined we are in achieving our dreams, how much we really want to be whole and mature, happy and conscious.
And if at the point of crisis we decide to leave everything and fall, then we will roll back not even to the previous level, but much lower. No wonder they say: "The higher you fly, the harder it is to fall."
But sometimes, due to unbearable inner pain, we are already indifferent to what will happen next ... And here we make many mistakes, and fatal ones, which are then very difficult to correct.
Let's figure out how to survive the point of crisis, with the intention, instead of falling lower, on the contrary, to believe in yourself and rise from the ashes.
I will describe some psychological and energetic tips that will help you overcome the crisis and develop healthy habits of responding to such situations.
Give yourself time to feel
Don't run from your feelings, acknowledge them and live.
When we find ourselves in a painful situation, by any means we want to get out of there as soon as possible. At such moments, people are more likely to run to psychologists, dive headlong into work, switch to the life of children and girlfriends ... You can still surrender to religion and read prayers, or, in the worst case, drown the pain in wine. All this switches, helps to distract, but drives the pain even deeper into the subconscious, forming a fear of overcoming and development.
It is important to understand that pain comes to make us stronger and energetically wider - in the future, this width and depth will let in new opportunities.
Now I am doing choreography with a teacher in order to get a third education, and in the classroom this principle is very clearly visible: the choreographer stretches me to the extreme point of patience, when it already hurts unbearably, and fixes me in this position. I breathe, yell, cry, swear, but after a couple of minutes I find that the muscles are used to it, and it doesn’t hurt so much anymore. And then he stretches a few centimeters more, I again yell, squeal, cry and get used to it again. And in the next lesson, this stretching is already possible for me on my own with almost no pain, and we again take a new height.
This is the principle of development not only of the body, but also of the psyche, so if we immediately run away from pain, then we deprive ourselves of its useful revealing component, which means that this lesson will have to be repeated so that you can no longer escape.
Therefore, the very first thing we must do, and it will be very difficult, is to let this pain and these feelings pass through us.
Do not run to psychological practices, to girlfriends, to psychologists, but simply stop and give yourself time to feel this pain. It might take a day or two, that's fine.
Worrying does not mean deliberately winding yourself up, dramatizing, hypertrophying emotions, going into hysterics with shouts: “ I will never again...", - not at all. To experience is simply to let emotions be.
During these periods, feelings need to be allowed to manifest consciously, so it is very important to cry, howl, whine, wallow, tremble in horror and show everything that asks from the inside. It is this living that is the condition for expanding the energy capacity.
The worst thing we can do is to overwhelm ourselves with sedatives or "will" power. It is in moments of self-suppression that injuries and blocks are formed, which are then so difficult to get rid of. If there are children at home, and it seems to you that it is harmful for them, then this is a deep delusion: by suppressing ourselves and pretending, we teach children the same thing. Therefore, in this case, it is reasonable to voice the child: “ Mommy is very sick and sad right now. It's not because of you, baby, but I really need to cry so that I feel better, so that my mother smiles and rejoices again!»
Moaning promotes relaxation by engaging your entire body in a steady, rhythmic movement. First of all, since moaning requires deep, stable diaphragmatic breathing, maximum oxygen is delivered to all corners of your body. Moaning also produces powerful vibrations in your body that act like a massage from within. As you continue to moan deeply and become more and more relaxed as you do so, you may feel your moaning vibrate not only in your throat, but also in your stomach, chest, and sometimes even your sinuses. As a rule, physical relaxation is the state of the body in which it best begins to heal itself. Moaning is a very valuable tool for relieving pressure built up at work and in human relationships, if people have no other options or no choice.
(PhD Luis Savary)
It is also very important to express feelings as much as possible physically, crying and moaning are especially good helpers.
Crying relieves nervous tension. It turned out that “the so-called tears of pain remove catecholamines from the body - substances that increase the level of stress in the body. And yes, crying can help you relax. After a short energetic inhalation, a long exhalation follows - a similar type of breathing can be found in many Eastern practices. It helps lower blood pressure, slows down the heartbeat, and promotes relaxation. That is why, after prolonged sobs, a state of relief and euphoria comes.
The habit of holding back tears leads to internal tension and unmotivated outbursts of aggression.
Screams and groans during pain help reduce discomfort, as they affect the transmission of pain impulses from various organs of the body to the brain. Thus, as a result of crying, the level of pain decreases.
Connect your body
If the body is also connected to the experience of pain, then this will be a great help in dealing with stress.
Why is it important to connect the body? The field structures of our body and consciousness directly interact with the energy inside the body, and if we physically block our body, then at the energy level we break our field structures, and they can no longer function normally to attract well-being and our desires: they only strengthen and increase the energy of the pledged block, attracting the negative.
Therefore, it helps miraculously in living intuitive movement: to do what the body feels by amplifying it.
For example, you want to curl up and not move - you lie down and curl up as much as it is physically possible, to the point of pain in the muscles. After such an effort, a sharp phase of relaxation follows: the body cannot be at the peak of tension for too long. The body relaxes and the energy flows through it without forming distortions at the field level.
Or, for example, you want to sit down, take your knees and swing (a typical stress reaction: body swaying is an indicator of the movement of energy) - you sit down and swing, first at your own pace, then shrink and swing with a greater amplitude, until you feel full of it state.
Someone can stay in a stressful position in peak tension for an hour, and someone - only five minutes, everything is individual here. The main thing is to listen to your body and follow it. If you feel like walking, walk, don't force yourself to sit down and calm down.
The more body you connect, the more experiences will leave your head, the faster you will pass the peak of stress.
You know, there are two main types of people who experience stress. Some get hysterical, they yell, yell, run around the house, cry, fight in fits, and two days later they get on their feet and go on with their lives. The second type of people calmly meets stress, without showing any emotions, they courageously go through it, solve the main tasks, calm the rest of the participants in stress, look reasonable and adequate, but as soon as the situation is resolved, after a couple of days or weeks they have a microstroke, or turn gray hair, or the hormonal system goes to hell.
These are yin-type reactions and yang-type reactions. Usually the first type is women: "Oh my God, we're all going to die!" And the second type, most often, is found among men who silently solve problems. As you know, according to statistics, on average, men die ten years earlier than women.
In today's world, women also react in a yang way, restraining themselves, solving problems, but this only harms us.
Stress Management Rule #1: Give yourself time and the right to experience pain.
Breathe
The human body is predominantly made up of water, which, in turn, is 33.3% air. While we breathe deeply, energy circulates in the body, filling us with strength and life. A characteristic stress syndrome is short shallow breathing, which supplies oxygen only to the brain and heart in case of a life threat.
As a psychologist, I often see that people who have experienced severe stress, but have not been able to get out of it and have formed a trauma for themselves, very often barely breathe. Their breathing is almost imperceptible, quiet, barely alive. It debilitates us and supports our blocks.
Start breathing deeply. Your first attempts at deep breathing may break into crying, screaming, returning to pain, and this is normal, because this is how the block goes away. Dizziness is also a normal primary reaction, if you generally breathe shallowly all your life.
At least a couple of times a day, track how you breathe and move on to deep breathing. Deep breathing regulates the activity of the parasympathetic nervous system, causing relaxation: the heart slows down its rhythm, and the inner world is filled with peace.
Deep breathing also relieves tension from the muscles due to the uniform supply of oxygen, and the production of cortisol and adrenaline stops. At the level of the body and emotions, the state is replaced by a balanced one.
Do the usual things
Sometimes, in moments of stress, it seems to us that our life has been razed to the ground and that we will never live the way we used to. The severity of the crisis is that we can no longer live as before, but we still do not know how to live differently. Being in this buffer zone, it seems to us that our life has been completely turned upside down.
There is the magic of doing simple things that bring us back to the feeling that life goes on. Simple daily activities will remind you that life goes on.
Therefore, it is very important to return to your daily rituals - this will give the mind peace: brush your teeth, wash your hair, do makeup, brew your favorite tea, return to the gym, clean the house, go to kindergarten or school for a child.
Even if at first you do it mechanically, your mind will become calmer from the fact that it understands at least some of the events that will occur: “ Yes, I will wash my hair tomorrow, brush my teeth, put on a dress… Of course, I will not go to this job anymore / I will wake up without this man… But my life goes on!»
If there are no events on the horizon of the mind, it thinks that this is the end and we die. And this is the way to depression.
Get rid of trash
A rather strange recommendation from the point of view of psychology, but very understandable from the point of view of energy. The more unnecessary things, people, events are in your field, the more energy they draw on themselves, because we spend energy on connection with every thing and every event. Throwing away the excess means cutting off unnecessary energy connections and regaining your energy, which will help you get through stress.
Remember that state when the house is clean and there is nothing superfluous? It is immediately easier to breathe, strength, energy, motivation, a feeling of renewal come.
The less garbage, the more energy for your dreams, desires and overcoming. This also applies to unnecessary friends who may feel sorry for you, gossip, and collect heavy energy.
Get moving
Do not let yourself freeze for a long time, keep moving in the literal sense of the word. Leave your car at home and go about your business on foot. Walking turns on the adaptive functions of the body and helps to rebuild in accordance with the changes in life.
Walking, running, stretching, dancing, or just intuitive stretching will help you get back into your body.
Most of our problems are in the head, and when we return to the body, we begin to realize the surmountability and temporality of what is happening.
drink water
Stress causes dehydration and further worsens the state of the body and emotions. Be sure to drink water, because during times of stress, the body works in a special metabolic mode, and it needs support in the form of drinking.
There are a lot of stress hormones in the blood, and water helps to remove them.
Do not make efforts to harm
« I have to force myself to eat!»
« You have to force yourself to go on a date with someone else!»
« You have to force yourself to smile!»
All this will subsequently cause you only disgust and rejection.
If you can’t get involved in something in any way, and the body rejects it with all its might, then you don’t have to force it and mock yourself. Let the body starve, and the soul - to be cleansed by loneliness before future relationships. Otherwise, you will then have to heal from additional blocks, the most popular of which is Pierrot's smile. This is when a person, getting into a difficult emotional experience, laughs or talks about it with a smile, although it is clear that everything inside is torn from pain.
I have a huge number of clients who talk about the monstrous things from their lives and at the same time smile. When they have tears in their eyes, they smile. When they are in pain, they smile.
Someone might think that this is the quality of a strong personality, but in fact, this incongruence is simply scary for adequate people. Imagine: a person with a smile will tell you about the death of a loved one or about his shock in life ... This is also a repression trauma, and it is formed precisely by the installation: “ I won't show anyone how bad I am. I will smile!»
Any ambiguity only complicates life, and the clown mask takes a huge amount of energy.
Be Conscious
In stress, we really want to hide in the position of the victim, distort reality, lie to ourselves, convince ourselves of something to make it easier to survive.
For example, you can blame someone, look for someone to blame, say that life is unfair to you, justify yourself with your ignorance and weakness. Of course, this self-deception will save you for a while and will not be so offensive. But lies will alienate you from yourself, will form destructive scenarios inside you and destroy them later. Therefore, from the very beginning it is very important to remain aware and just live your crisis.
What does it mean to "keep mindful"?
This means dealing with facts, not speculation.
Yes, they fired me, yes, my husband left, yes, someone close to me left the body ... Yes, it hurts a lot, yes, my heart breaks, yes, it’s impossible to find a place for myself. But you don't have to say: She's prettier, that's why he left» / « I'm not so young, how is she!» / « I just don't need anyone...» / « He never gave me anything!" etc.
This, as you yourself understand, is a complete nonsense of mental self-pity.
Mindfulness is when we interact with reality, and not with rollers from our mind.
Being aware means being able to accept the past and relate to the present.
« Yes, in the past, this person was very valuable to me and brought a lot of happiness into my life, but now our relationship has become different, and it destroys my integrity, so I choose to leave! is sober thinking without depreciation.
Unfortunately, usually people devalue everything: “ Now I understand what kind of person you are, and II thought... but in fact, that's what you turned out to be!“So we cross out the experience of our past, its significance, which means that we will be forced to learn this again and go through it again. Therefore, try to interact with real things during stress, and not your phantoms and ghosts from your head.
One lost battle does not mean a lost war! »
If you have a stubborn character, then this is especially wonderful in this case - a powerful energy release occurs during a crisis, and if you say to yourself with stubborn persistence: “ Yes, this happened, but I will still be happy, create a family, I will get high and enjoy!', it will definitely come true.
If you have a big list of dreams, then it will support you a lot, motivate you. If these are real dreams and desires, they will not let you fall - on the contrary, they will fill you with energy to overcome difficulties.
Thank you and wish you well
The most powerful thing you can do to rise to the next level after a crisis is with those who hurt you! Imagine these people smiling and happy, full of life and material prosperity, with a smile on their faces and all the blessings in earthly life.
With this practice, we write off on the subtle plane the root causes of the formation of new negative karma, we form field structures aimed at prosperity and abundance.
The energy principle of this practice is that what we radiate increases.
If we radiate this to low-frequency people, and they cannot accept this, then the energy forms for them the opportunity to expand to the required capacity through overcoming, and this energy of happiness and prosperity returns to you as a rebound.
If your stress is not related to certain people, then still find negative low-frequency people and wish them happiness.
In addition, it is very important to give thanks. Life does not give anything other than experience and wisdom, so any situation with the right review is always pluses. Learn to see the good even in the most difficult situation, thank God for believing in you so much that he gives such tests. Experiencing - it means that a great miracle is preparing ahead!
Believe in this and make it your basic life intention: " Everything that happens to me makes me happier, prettier, sexier and richer!- or whatever you like.
Remember, this won't always be the case.
Day will change into night, spring will be followed by summer, life will go on anyway.
And your task is to find your place in it and have fun!
Hi, I'm Alina, I'm 32 years old. Until recently, I was completely confident that I was in control of my life and that, in general, it was a success. I worked as a manager in a large company, freelanced for my favorite publication, helped some people with PR and produced shootings of friendly brands in my spare time. I seem to be in a party, attend cool events, make friends with interesting people (well, as friends - rather on Facebook and support small talk), we rented an apartment in the center with my boyfriend and planned to take a mortgage. Since we did not really want to move from the center to the outskirts, we have recently dealt with this issue little - one might say, we have not dealt with it at all. But we went three times a year to Bali, twice to Paris and once each to Sochi, Amsterdam and Berlin. In addition to trips, we really had no time to see each other - work, traffic jams, freelance, projects. But nothing foretold the end. I will not go into details how it happened, but one fine day I was left without a main job. And after 2 days, the man, the wedding with whom seemed to be a done deal for the last five years, told me that everything was over with us. Of course, he did it intelligently, but mercilessly: life, he says, is one, we both should be truly happy, and not be in illusions - we have not had harmonious relationships and good sex for a long time. Since I sincerely believed that there were no illusions, for the first three days I had a state of greatly altered consciousness. For another 2 weeks I lay in an empty apartment and tried to understand why I now wake up in the morning. A week later, I tried to find out who led him astray - his mother, with whom I always had a difficult relationship, a new woman with whom he suddenly suddenly realized how we were not suitable for each other, or friends who considered me a bore and careerist. And now it's time to pay the rent. I had to get out of bed. Realizing that paying for an apartment in the center is not a very lifting story for an unemployed person, I began to pack my bags. I had to leave closer to the TTC.
In a new place, I was covered so much that I realized that my stress had broken me much more than I thought. Eating, drinking, hanging out with friends, looking for a new job, holding on to freelancing - I just didn't have the energy to do all this. They were not even there to wash their hair and make themselves coffee. I lay for hours in a room with curtained windows. It was the toughest stage - even before the agony, before the desire to get drunk and forget, and strongly before when you want to procrastinate endlessly with your friends about what happened. The first time I was in shock. A month later, when it became clear that I could not physically and mentally pull myself out of this state, I had to start acting. I'll tell you exactly how. Perhaps my experience will help someone.
1. Professional help
The most correct thing I did, being in my condition, was to go to a psychologist. And at first I was terribly annoyed that I was talking and talking in agony, and nothing happened in an hour. The psychologist listens to my stream of consciousness and bills me for 5,000 rubles. I sincerely believed that it should help immediately, as if from the action of a magic pill. But no, friends, that's not how it works. At least six months of therapy - and maybe then something will move. I quit a few times but came back. She convinced herself that there was no need to save money on this and that specially trained people should deal with problems with her head. I advise one thing in this matter: find your man. If you are not a fan of Freud, go to Jungian analysts, for example. Personally, I got out of the crisis with the help of conventional psychoanalysis and constellations. But I know they are not for everyone. In a word, choose the right person and walk steadily, regularly, as if you were going to work. At first, at least 2 times a week, and then at least once, so that the work is not wasted.
2. Friends, social activity
The biggest mistake I made was isolating the first month. My psychologist is convinced that you need to go through all the stages - from denying the problem and agony to the correct "letting go" of the situation. Everything is so, but the main thing is not to get stuck in any of these stages. I sincerely believe that being alone with yourself is unhealthy. Yes, at first you need to let yourself cry. But being alone, you run the risk of being stuck in this experience for a long time. Try to meet friends, be more or less socially active so as not to lose your sense of reality, and go to work. In my case, there was nowhere to go, and this fact, as well as the lack of a monthly stable income, became a source of additional stress for me. Rescued by friends who pulled me out in pajamas for coffee, demanded a report in our Telegram chat about whether I had eaten, and eventually brought in additional freelance work. When you're on the move, you're doing the best therapy possible.
3. Yoga and sports
Do not skip this point - to all skeptics, I will say that this is one of the most important recovery points. Kill yourself on simulators or hone asanas - it's up to you. I chose the second one, because I was so corny physically too weak for iron. Again, I will say that there should be a system in everything - try not to miss classes so that they are useful, and your new life, in which there is so much free time, was filled with something more or less constructive. Otherwise, you will lie at home with your phone and flip through other people's Instagram Stories, which will drag you into the abyss of a false awareness of the insignificance of your life against the background of others like an invisible funnel. Only a healthy brain is able to sift the wheat from the chaff and understand where in all this beauty is the truth and where is fiction. Your injured brain will annul the results of work on yourself - and nothing more. Therefore, we spend energy on physical activity, which, by the way, unrealistically cool stimulates neural connections. Your brain will thank you later. And the body too.
4. Motivators
By the time you begin to respond without irritation to quotes that problems and crises make us better, subscribe to motivational publics and buy books that are written for people in deep crisis. Zeland's "Reality Transurfing" helps someone, and the books of Louise Hay and Richard Bach help someone. Yes, even "Eat, pray, love" - if only it helped. There were even trainings in my life, which I had firmly denied before, and a variety of self-knowledge courses. If this helps you in any way, go for it! By the way, I still have a subscription to the main coach of our days, Tony Robbins, on Instagram. I think this is a useful page for those who want to think about their lives.
5. Eastern practices
Everyone is looking for their Zen in their own way. On the advice of my favorite editorial staff, I went to treat my health at the health center of Tibetan medicine "Chzhud-Shi". It differed from all other places in a more or less understandable system of interaction with patients and sane prices. They are treated here mainly with phytotherapy (Tibetan herbs, which are given for home use in special bags), massage and acupuncture. The diagnosis is made by assessing the appearance and pulse, but if desired, you can pass all types of tests, including ultrasound. I knew that they could solve any problems here - from digestion and back pain to allergies, but I needed energy and the ability to endure stress more easily. Where else could I come with such a request? In "Chzhud-Shi" I was accepted with open arms - the program "Where to get strength?" they have one of the most popular, and they treat stress and insomnia effortlessly. On pins and needles, I consistently fell asleep like a baby - this was the only hour of the day when my sleep was undisturbed. For 10 sessions, I noticed that I became much calmer, my hair stopped falling out, my headaches subsided a little.
6. Travel
India, Goa
No Europe, no glamor, no men - if you go through all the stages of the story about "Eat, Pray, Love", then I was still praying. The last money (my contribution to the future mortgage) I spent on two big trips to the main energy centers of the world - to India (Kerala and Goa) and Peru (Machu Picchu). When else I would have been brought there, I do not know. But three months of my wanderings around the world to these amazing places knocked out of me the last remnants of doubt that everything that is done is for the better.
Of course, I would like to write separate large materials about these trips. In short: I saw the ancient city of the Incas on a surprisingly budget trip: the Panorama Bed and Breakfast, located just 200 meters from the city's Machu Picchu market, cost me a penny. I only had to pay for the flight. This is really the very place where mysterious and unimaginable things happen all the time and the concentration of energy just rolls over. I think, first of all, of course, this is connected with people - ordinary life-seekers do not come here. Important: the portal opened to me without mind-altering drugs - communication with visitors and local shamans.
As for India, it is generally a must for anyone who wants to understand at least something about this life. I had to go there more than once to see at least part of these incredible places: the toughest metropolis of the world, Mumbai, the incredible Blue City, the magnificent Taj Mahal, the forests of Meghalaya, the Ajanta caves, the Phantom City (people left it 400 years ago), the plantations of Darjeeling, Goa beaches. I still do not understand why my search for the meaning of life used to take place so far from here - India shocked me absolutely. By the way, for beginners, for whom a quick immersion in the culture of the most incredible country in terms of spirituality and historical heritage seems extreme, I advise you to start moving in this direction a little bit. Ride to the ocean in the beautiful Grand Hyatt Goa, where everything is super comfortable and beautiful: 25-meter pools, the same sunbeds as in Nikki Beach, and luxurious spas. Indian cuisine here will be the safest, yoga classes the most enjoyable, and a trip to authentic coastal villages will take no more than half an hour and will cost a penny.
7. Men
Now I know for whom the country's most popular singer in the network sings: from the stage "I'm getting used to waking up alone again" to "I open the world of other men" it usually takes about a year if the breakup was very traumatic. And I understand why the creator of these uncomplicated hits has such success: a simple rhythm, simple words, but important for restoration, which are like a mantra, all this also heals. Many people warned me about the importance of not going into downshifting, and although the temptation was great, the lack of an apartment in Moscow that could be rented out made me plunge into social life again. By the time I returned to Moscow, I no longer asked my friends to see when he last visited FB: I myself deleted him from my friends a long time ago, and therefore this information was not available to me. There were days when I didn't think about him at all. And one fine morning, while planning my day's activities, I downloaded Tinder. If we treat this method of dating without snobbery, then it turns out to be much more effective than random meetings in a club. And who now gets acquainted with party-goers who drink on Friday evenings before breakfast at Coffeemania? These times are long gone, everyone is looking for balance. In a word, I discovered the world of other men successfully. I was tempted to get stuck in the endless dating phase, but in the end I seem to have made up my mind.
8. Plans for the future
My immediate plans are to continue therapy. Yes, yes, despite the fact that I have done a lot of work on myself, I want not only to get out of depression, but to work through my breakup with the only man with whom I had a long relationship, so that later it would not come back to me with complexes and neuroses.
Each of us sooner or later gets into stressful situations, but not everyone knows how to deal with stress.
cause of stress any problem situation can become - dismissal, failure in personal life, trauma. And as the saying goes, "Trouble does not come alone." And life is not limited to only one problem. How to survive a series of such events?
If you do not start to act, then stress can develop into depression, and then, in especially severe cases, you can no longer do without professionals and medicines.
It is necessary to gather all the will into a fist and adequately survive the stress until it turns into a real swamp of hopelessness.
Are you really stressed?
Before you deal with stress, you need to make sure that you have it. Let's move on to its symptoms.
- The first will be more likely to cause stress - prolonged exposure to an irritant.
- Shock reaction to what happened. It manifests itself in increased heart rate, sweating, turning off the brain.
- It may well be that the realization of the situation came to you a long time after what happened. This is quite normal - in severe stressful situations, the body turns off the brain so as not to suffer large losses.
- A person under stress is disturbed by a feeling of anxiety. It can be both unreasonable and arise due to the slightest problems. The cashier at the supermarket did not politely answer you and made a whole scandal out of this? Think about your state of mind.
- Stress is evidenced not only by a decline in vital activity, but also by its rise. In conditions that threaten vitality, the body mobilizes resources, which is aimed at preserving life by any means. Pay attention to your condition. If you are as full of energy as ever, able to work without fatigue for hours on end.
- Behind the rise, expect a decline in strength. It will come abruptly without warning. Remember that it will be much more difficult to survive stress in a decline than in an upsurge.
These conditions have similar symptoms and causes, but distinguishing them is quite simple.
Depression is a chronic disease accompanied by clinical symptoms ranging from changes in brain chemistry. The state of despair becomes normal and does not leave the patient for one second.
Stress, unlike depression, is temporary. It can even last for several days. Its appearance is accompanied by such health disorders as increased blood pressure, headaches. Stress can turn into depression. 
Modern classification identifies two forms of stress - positive stress and negative. In the first form, a large release of serotonin is produced, which causes increased vivacity, a boost of energy. The second has opposite symptoms and has a negative effect on human immunity.
Another significant difference is that stress can go away without outside help, but depression, especially in its extreme manifestations, can go to extremes without intervention.
The following comparisons will help you better distinguish stress from depression:
- Stress is nothing more than a reaction of the body, depression is a mental illness;
- Depression weakens a person, reduces his ability to live. Stress in moderation is beneficial.
- Anything that lasts more than a week can safely be called depression.
- Stress is easy to get rid of, but depression often requires professional and even medical intervention;
- In most cases, stress is accompanied by an increase in energy, and depression is accompanied by a breakdown.
- Accept the situation and it will calm you down. Agree that there is nothing to return back. What happened, unfortunately or fortunately, is unchanged. All further actions must proceed from the present and the future.
Surely you have had situations when, under the influence of emotions from a shock you just experienced, you took actions that you later regretted. Why repeat past mistakes? You can correct the situation only by real actions, the choice of which will be successful only for a person with a calm heart and a sound mind.
- abstract yourself. Use a little imagination - it didn't happen to you, it happened to someone else. You are nothing more than an observer. This means that your emotional experiences should be at a minimum level. Keep working, but act like a robot - complete your tasks with absolutely turning off any experience.
- Learn to switch yourself. Usually, stress in the morning prepares for us a series of thoughts that create an atmosphere for the whole day. Come up with a ritual that is mandatory and expels all negativity from you. For example, you can clap your hands and say "Bad thoughts do not belong here, but I'll get down to business." And be sure to smile at the end of this event.
And if a friend during the day decides to visit you again, just repeat everything from the beginning.
- Complain less. This position has two sides. On the one hand, when you talk about the problem, speak out, it becomes easier. But on the other hand, the more you talk about the problem, the more often you return to it, relive it.
Decide for yourself that you are fine. Answer any questions about your life only in a positive way. The main thing is to believe that everything is really good.
- Learn to find the positive in everything That's the only way to deal with stress. This is especially true of stress caused by a breakup.
In love dramas, people make two main mistakes: the first is an attempt to return a soul mate. Before taking action, consider whether it is necessary to resurrect something that has already “died”. Will the effort paid off? It is best to let everything take its course, and then life will put everything in its place.
The second is “My life without this person is over.” But in fact, you know that life went on as usual, and will continue to do so. Please note that the singing of birds outside the window does not stop depending on whether this person is in your life or not. 
Treat the breakup as an opportunity for self-development. Just imagine how much free time you now have and how much you can realize. Direct yourself and all your energy to work, study, new hobbies. Do you have a dream that you never had time for? Here is a great opportunity to make it happen!
Consider the past relationship as an experience, based on which you will build further communication with the opposite sex.
- Be in the community. Put yourself in the best view and go to crowded places - parks, shopping centers. Observe people, find positive moments in the crowd and concentrate on them. Be it a laughing child, a kissing couple, or a funny young man. The main thing is to get a charge of good emotions.
Don't forget to smile! It is in the creation of a smile that the muscles take part. Which are responsible for a good mood and favorable vitality.
- Salvation in routine. Oddly enough, but ordinary homework can be a great helper. Write yourself a plan of affairs for the day, daily increasing the load.
General cleaning is a good therapy. Imagine that with all the rubbish and garbage that you take out of the house, you throw out all the negativity from yourself. It is also very important to remove as far as possible all the things that in one way or another remind of the events that have occurred.
Praise yourself at the end. “I am a big / big fellow. Now my house is clean and tidy, everything has its place.” As in the house. So in the mind, everything should be put on the shelves.
- cry. Did you know that according to statistics, the life expectancy of women is higher than that of men? And all because. That women regularly throw out emotions through tears. The rules of modern society prohibit men from such manifestations of feelings, and very in vain.
- Pets. Animals can easily help to survive stress. Pets, such as cats and dogs, sense that something is happening to the owner, and show their support by whining, meowing, or even poking at you with their paws.
If you still do not have a pet and you have decided to take such a responsible step, then do not hesitate to go to the nursery for homeless animals. When you save a little life from death, it will be grateful to you and devoted to the very end. 
- Get emotional from strangers. Challenge yourself to greet 10 random passers-by with a smile or casual words. As soon as you get an answer, you will immediately understand why to do this.
- Favorite hobbies will help to survive the bad. Do what brings you pleasure. Charge yourself with positive emotions that will push out the negative. Allocate time in your daily routine that you will spend only on what you want to do.
- Learn to breathe properly. Breathing is the basis of life. Sufficient enrichment of the brain with oxygen will help you survive any event.
- Rest. Relax your muscles, especially your facial muscles.
- Allow yourself to think in any direction, develop any thoughts. No matter how ridiculous they may seem at first glance. And the most interesting, from what is born in the head, you can write down.
- Free yourself. This can be done by getting rid of clothes. The feeling of nakedness gives freedom. You can, for example, do this before going to bed. Undress, take a deep breath, feel how easy and good you are. With such sensations, sleep will be stronger.
- Imagination will help to survive stress. Imagine that everything that happens is just a dream. A little more and it will be over. Periodically breaking away from reality is useful, but do not flirt and do not lose touch with reality.
- Make gifts. Get a couple of dozen trinkets and present them to people you like. This procedure will charge only positive.
- Keep track of your mood- direct it in a positive direction every moment of life.
Remember that everything depends only on you and your desire.